Love and Loss

John 15:13

June 25th is a day that I’ll never forget.  It’s the day that Sage Alexandra James came into this world.  I remember the moment I found out that she even existed when my dear friend Saundretta told me that she and her husband Aaron were expecting a baby.  Sage’s mom is a great friend of mine who is intelligent, beautiful, and a wonderful advocate of Global Education.  I was thrilled and I even think I experienced sympathy pregnancy as I began to gain weight during Saundretta’s pregnancy.

At Aaron and Saundretta’s gender reveal party, I was so excited to find out that they were going to have a baby girl.  I imagined all of the things that she would do with her Auntie Cynamon and all the conversations we would have.  I couldn’t wait for her to get here!

On June 1st, several of us came together and had a baby shower for Aaron and Saundretta.  Let me tell you, it was so beautiful and a lot of fun, just the way I imagined Sage would be, the way her parents are, beautiful and fun individuals, as well as a beautiful and fun couple.

On June 25th, Sage entered this world…without a heartbeat.  How could this happen?  She was expected to come in a little over a month.  Everybody was so excited for her arrival.  I’m sure her parents were more excited than anybody.  When I got the message, I didn’t know what to do or what to say, all I could do was cry as I sat at my desk at work.  I finally got myself together to go and support my friends.

It’s been two years and I will always continue to think about Sage.  I’m sad that we aren’t able to do all of the things that I had imagined we would be doing but I’m happy that I got to spend time with her while she was in the womb when her mom and I would hang out.  When I read John 15:13 last month, “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” I thought about Sage.

Some tend to think that because she was stillborn, that her life didn’t have a purpose but these people are WRONG.  Whether a small embryo in the womb, or a 100 year old adult in the world, it is still a life.  Sage spent approximately 8 months in the womb and I know that her life has and will continue to make an impact on families who have experienced similar loss as well as how people view loss.  The impact that she will make is even greater than I could have imagined.

Dear Sage,

Girl, I can’t believe it has already been two years!  You just don’t know how much your Auntie Cynamon misses you.  I wish you could come and visit me in Brazil so we could go to the park, eat cake, laugh, and learn a few words in Portuguese.  But I know you’re busy touching lives and doing important things.  I’m so proud of you and want you to remember that there isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think about you.  I know when we meet in heaven, it will be even better than I could have imagined on earth!  Take care and be good.


Auntie Cynamon

6 thoughts on “Love and Loss

  1. Oh MY GOODNESS! This is so incredibly special. Thank you for sharing this because I only think of how she touched my life. Not so much how she touched yours or others’ around me. Thank you for letting me know even more the meaning her life had in yours and mine as I continue to move on despite her physical presence. Wow. Needed to hear and read this. I knew we were all good for something! Hahaha. Much Love.

    P.S. You would have SPOILED that girl. I don’t even want to think about all of the bling bling fashion jewelry and cute shoes and bows she would have had. Oh boy! 🙂 Roxy may have been jealous!

    Much Love,

    Dretta (Sage’s Earth Mother).

    Peace and Blessings (and thanks for the plugin.) You are blessed.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Sage definitely meant a lot to me and yes, she probably would be blinged out in animal print and some cute accessories right now!


  2. Beautifully written with truth, honor and love. Thank you for crafting Cynamon and thank you for sharing Dretta. Greatest thanks to God for having his arms around our angel and to Sage for her inspiration and divine presence. X.O.


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